今晚突然觉得很难过，接到电话后就去和他们吃饭。翡翠的小笼包，那张桌子我们还会坐到吗？核桃露味道像花生，不是不好吃只是心情不对。明天他们两个都要走了，要等到好久以后才会再碰面了。坐着157在熟悉的路上，突然觉得很感伤。想着坐了6年的157，每天都会经过的路，一起坐车的人，虽然不认识但是还是有一种亲切感。以后可能没有机会一起坐车了。想念着以前没有冷气的157，很舒服的风，没有天亮的天空。会想念islandcreamery,coro,currywok,这些充满回忆的地方。特别会想念这些年在这条路上认识的人，还有那些只认得脸但不认识的人。见不到你们都会很不习惯。觉得真的没有好好珍惜这两年的日子，一眨眼就结束了。与大家的感情没有根深蒂固就要结束了。而且结束的太突然也没好好收拾心情。所以现在有很多遗憾，很多后悔。特别是一直放在心里的感情，没有表现出来，现在只会感觉酸酸的，什么都不能做。回忆里有很多你的画面，我想也只能这样了。

it's been a long time since i visited my own blog.. everything has come to an end... finally finished exams... prom has ended too.. it seems as if there's nothing much to do now..
prom was fun on the whole thou din like the food.. haha... everyone looks very different.. all dressed up.. looking at pple was the most fun thing at prom.. helped wj and hera did their hair and make up... luckily it turned out ok...
the whole night was abt photo taking.. i haven taken so many photos before.. my face muscles were stiff after all those photo taking..
my only regret for the night was not to take photos with some pple.. pple tell me it's the best opportunity to take those pics during prom.. cos everyone is taking photos with everyone else.. but too bad i'm shy.. haha.. anw it's over now.. wad to do..
after prom actually wanted to go singapore river for a walk.. but we got lost and were walking in the opp direction.. our feet were hurting so much we walked around barefooted with the heels in our hands... eventually we gave up and decided to go back to hera's house.. we stopped at paragon to buy ice cream and sat along orchard in our dresses eating ice cream... paddle pop never tasted so nice... and we took pictures with the huge christmas tree outside paragon.. then continued to walk barefooted back to her house.. and we were warned of dog poo along the way.. wad a treacherous journey..

i've come blogging again after ages since wanqi remineded me tt the post was a month ago.. listening to i'm not missing u by stacie orrico.. nice song.. have been indulging myself today.. watch the banquet, went for sushi buffet, bought myself a new album.. the big day, last day of prelims.. it has been a torturing month.. when it was 6 weeks before prelims i told myself i would start studying.. i did but it was so slow tt most of it was done in the week before my papers... horrible... the only word i can find to describe everything... it's been a horrible experience of not finishing papers and being so unsure of myself.. it feels bleak.. now i'm 6 weeks to 'a's... i'll study.. this time really study.. prelims has really scared me... getting insomnia before gp paper.. is tt bad enough.. haiz.. i shall not think abt it... today being last day of prelims i shall forget abt it for a while.. talk abt my day of indulgence then... banquet, nice actions, nice atmosphere but the palace really too grand to be true.. love zhou xun.. cry like dunno wad when she performed the song.. the lyrics, yue ren ge, so intriguing.. i need a piece of drifting wood.. i hope it just drifts to me quickly.. i'm gg to drown.. days after 'a's which are just 2 months away... look forward but afraid.. so much things i want to do but dunno how to.. i hope i dun waste those days.. such a precious long vacation...

oh~~ i love the pple around me... they make me happy and high... makes me wanna go sch everyday... on qi xi me, yl, wj, jo, hera, van went to island to eat ice cream... it was celebration for qi xi.. which we tried to explain for umpteen times to van.. in the end we just admitted tt we wanted to eat ice cream using qi xi as an excuse.. haha.. wadeva.. but the ice cream was really nice.. apple pie~~ mud pie~~ today was esp random and funny.. i left my specs with the optician to change the lens.. so i was wearing my sec 3 specs to sch... life is quite exciting when u carn see clearly.. thou frustrating sometimes.. and i was asked why i din change my specs on fri so that i can get it the next weekday... but i stupidly just left the specs there last sat and i can only get back this sat.. so i have to live in the blur world for 1 whole week.. sorry if i dun say hi.. i really carn see u.. so today i made wj took a photo of the sun in the morning at chi high side during assembly... then in the evening we saw the sun setting and i asked her to take photo again but she insisted it was blocked by some brigde.. tt's not the xiao dian... after our curry wok dinner, we decided to go and take a look at awfully choc where we got the cake for sj.. it was just a white colour place with 2 black armchairs and a jar of water on a coffee table.. there's was no display of cakes at all but there was a container of choc ice cream.. the first time we walked past the shop w/o entering as it really din looked like a cake shop.. then we continue walking and found a cold storage which din used to be there.. we went in to look around and when we came out, dear wj almost knocked onto the glass door.. which she claim she din know it opens from the side... and i burst out in laughter... then we decided to enter the cake shop when we walked past again and as the shop keeper was attending to someone else.. i went out of the place and wj reminded tt i shud have at least asked abt the cakes.. then we thot it's too stupid, maybe another day when we are in some other clothes... then she said we shud pretend to buy ice cream then ask abt the cakes.. then i was puzzled and asked how to pretend to buy ice cream.. after the qn i burst out in laughter again in the middle of the rooad... i think it's the dinner making me too full turning me hysterical.. or is it just too much phy stuff in my brain... anw there's a whole list of activities coming up for the holidays... so exciting!! i love u pple!!!

have been very slack.. went for 2 k sessions and did little work... results quite bad but starting to mug liao.. seriously...
anw have been having weird feelings tt i have never felt so strongly before... very bothered by these feelings.. but luckily found a nice sms pal to crap to..realise we really click so well... as i say it's like xiang feng hen wan... haha... back to those weird feelings... never experienced before so dunno wad they're leading me too... it either ends well or fades off.. i just hope it stops distracting me... i wanna tok sense and focus.. ARH!! but i think my pal there is experiencing tt too.. sharing my woes..
i dunno if it's becos of it tt i start to love karen mok's songs.. ni gei wo duo shao shi jian~~

today was a very fun day! finally had outing with weiying and wanqi.. screaming our hearts out in kster.. it started as a joke at the busstop and we got wanqi who was on the bus home to make her way back... haha.. and i spent 1 hour standing at the busstop looking at 4 157s pass... singing songs like kang ding qing ge and wo zhi zai hu ni... so retro.. though i was constantly irritated by weiying, it was just sth i have to get used to.. as wanqi says dun hiu her... haha.. as it was an impromptu idea we were rather lack of cash.. so weiying suggested waiting for friends whom we can borrow some money from at the bus stop... and she managed to borrow 10 dollars... besides the singing and the several times of hanging of the system... we also got some tips at acting cute by the "keaijiaozhu" imposter, lee jia liu liu di da jie... no.1: add ren2 jia1 before every sentence, no. 2: personify everything... like when u drop bread on the floor say this, i think the bread is tong4 tong4...tt's the more basic stuff.. want more tips, look for her... anw i think it's really fun hanging out with these 2 crazy gals.. hope our next outing will be coming soon...

just went to do some astrology tests cos i'm really drained after afternoon's paper... the readings say tt i need a lot of emotional security which i agree completely... these 2 years i've been gg back more frequently and i realised i seem to have become closer to my mum... which i feel very glad abt... i feel very safe and protected when i'm with her... mabbe it's cos i've always been floating emotionally.. there's no place i can land safely.. now tt i really feel the bond building up, i feel comforted.. pple who grew up with their family wun understand this kind of feeling where u have to try consciously to build bonds... it's tiring.. like this hols when i feel the closeness it only lasted the week and i have to come back here... i'm afraid the force of attraction will weaken and the next time i see her i'll have to try to patch it up again... mabbe the feeling of closeness is making me feel too safe or just the exams are making me too stressed up, i was reluctant to come back and i feel like gg back now... i want to relive my childhood which i've missed too much... i cry too easily because the tears are overflowing inside... i dun like to but i can't stop.. nobody offers a pat because i keep pple away... tired..

4days to block test 2, 4 days to the end of my june hols... let me do a concluding report for my hols then... the first week at lep camp.. the second week was basically sick and thought that i was having dengue.. 3 days haunted by fever... 3rd week got pulled back to indo cos i think my mum is worried... so went back for the week and what i did: eat and eat and eat and watch tv and try to read a page or two from my econs notes.. thou din accomplish even a small part of my study plan, i was happy to be back... at least get away from singapore for a while... breathe some fresh air... came back on sat and went for mc anniversary on sun... was quite fun actually.. looking at faces that used to appear in tv walking in front of u... but not all appear to be as good as they seem.. anw i did a most incredible thing... i told him we're tong xiang... took a photo... he doesn't even know my name... haha... so funny.. the others were also busy taking pictures esp the guys... quite shocked to see them so crazy after those stars... haha... btw the cake was really nice.. i really hope to continue lessons.. may not lead me anywhere but just enjoy gg lessons.. it's an interest lah.. the last week... mugging.. or should i say last-minute sponging... trying to squeeze in as much stuff as possible... hmm... dun think will do very well this time... but at least i think my hols was quite fulfilling... not in the studies sense lah.. ok i shall continue to mug somemore... hope i wun die too badly this time round..

a month has passed since i last blogged.... so many things happened and i shall start backtracking...
the night i went to watch dance night i lost my phone... so stupidly dropped my phone on the bus and only realised it when i was entering the school gate... lost all my interesting stuff inside and the phone was new.... arh~~~ some horrible person took the phone and din try to return it to me... and that led to a whole series of money spending activities like getting a new line in order to get a cheap phone and gg all the way to paragon to get my line cos i'm a foreigner and i must really thank nice wj who din mind accompanyiing me all the way there wearing not very orchard wear... but i've started my life all over again with a new line... everything's ok now...
it's such a traumatizing experience that i forgot to tok abt wad happened before that... the days before dance night we had performances at the fish tank... the system was not very good but the performances got better as we moved on... the amt we collected was not a lot but a lot better than we expected... and i really like chee yang's wo men xiao shi hou... it's touching... he's reallly got the software...
ok... next... i just came back from lep camp not long ago... four days in ntu were really fun... though we only helped to serve food and guide the pple around... i got to noe many interesting and funny pple... like dean, simin, yuanting, zihui, chaokiat... they're really funny pple... i oso got to noe a very fun person, actually i knew wanqi for a very long time since we're in ny but she was always known as matilda's good friend... haha... but these few days would not be so fun w/o her... all those conversations with fake angmoh accents, the crapping in the hostel the dean's meitui, the cancerians, the getting lost at some ulu part of the hostel.... and not forgetting the time we worked so hard in 6925... haha... there are so many things that i can continue abt but it's really too much.. hope we still keep in touch...
now... i'm sick... realised i've become weaker recently... getting sick more often these days... is it tt i'm getting old or i really carn take care of myself... so lousy... i was searching for some fever medicine and found some leftover ones from the last time i fell ill... it dates 3/3, only 3 months ago... haiz... let me get well soon... but it gave me a reason to not study so hard for blks... this carn do... i've to start working soon... i want to go back home...

actually dun feel like blogging... but while waiting for my msn to download i shall write something... before this i was blog surfing, reading the lives of pple aroiund me.. so interesting... wad they write and wad they appear to be are so different.. i seem to be entering someone's inner world everytime i read their blogs... i dunno if pple put their true feelings in their entries but some pple's entries really touched me...
recently realised how troubled my friend is... troubles caused by guys around her... one leaving, one confessing, one just being nice... troubled... hope she'll find her someone soon.. be happy... u're a nice person, u deserve someone nice...
our fish tank performance is coming soon... through the practices and prep process, knew lots of new pple, understand some pple more, and learnt lots of new stuff... hope the performance is successful...

i seem to be very off-touch with my surroundings... or is it jus things are happening too quickly... more and more people around are getting attached.. quite surprised to see people u never dreamed off being a couple walking around together... is it jus for the sake of being attached or really out of love?? nvm... jus be happy...
i love the feeling of being surrounded by music... i enjoy staying around at m.c... impressed by talented pple... so cool... i wanna immerse myself in music but how should i path my way towards tt?
was chatting online with chiayi.. being asked abt my plans.. i always told her i wanted to go overseas for uni studies but i dun seem to be enthusiastic enuff.. not doing enuff research and thinking.. but it may be becos i noe my chances of gg overseas is not very high... i noe this in my heart tt's why so passive...my wish to leave this place has wavered... i have forgotten why i wanted to leave in the first place.. wadever...
she wanna do psychology.. i think it's interesting but i thought her interest was in design... has she changed, maybe it's been a long time we've really talked or heard from each other... i'm confused.. i dunno how to path my way ahead.... n i'm still gg round and round in my piles of work... lots to catch up but not motivated at all... i dun see how i can touch the 4As.. long weekend... lost in confusion... confused....

i finally get back my sundays....!! for the past few months i dunno wad i'm busy with but i dun remember staying at home for the whole day on sundays... i love slacking at home on sundays... just lie around and listen to songs... and do housework... such a good form of exercise... and when u see ur house is clean, u feel a sense of achievement.. haha.. it sounds quite crazy but it's true...
anw yesterday had a very very fun day... went for lep orientation.. thou i din get to help much in the organisation , i help to execute... anw i brought a bunch of j1s out to play something like amazing race then we completed our tasks so smoothly and quickly cos we've got a walking street directory in the group... then we got so much time tt we jus sat listening to yulaoshi tell us stories at his hui guan... haha... after tt we taught them songs and played mass game... the mass game is jus sth like catching lah, and the seniors just stood around and shoot our water guns at them... haha.. so fun.. i haven touched a water gun since dunno when... it's so tiring but just fun... i hope the j1s enjoyed themselves too... good job everyone!! after tt went with gg, shell, beng and jiao to ps for a good meal at pastamania... then i was very surprised when gg suggested gg to the arcade... she never look to me as a person who likes to go to the arcade... haha.. new discovery...
haiz... jus some randon stuff.. had this goal setting lesson for ct session... thou the lesson itself is quite funny, i actually thought seriously of my goals... i know i like music very very much, but to set it as my final goal i jus dun haf the courage... but i do hope i can work towards it... mabbe not become a singer or wad but jus sth to do with music... i really hope i can do sth i like as a job... cos i jus met too many of these pple these days.. pple who do wad they like as their job.. they become happy pple...

horrible morning.. first time to be late for exam.... my goodness!! nightmare!! got stuck in a jam for abt half an hour cos of some accident... so decide to get off the bus, and get a cab... then as i walked on.. i realised the jam was very long.... so i had to walk for 3 bus stops before i got rid of the jam... then i took any bus that could take me nearer to school.. took 2 buses to reach school in the end... then side gate locked, so had to go to the main gate and run my way up to the hall... reach at 10.30, paper started at 10.15... the teacher looked at me with a frown, but i was too tired to explain, so i just quickly settled down to do the paper... luckily could finish..
after the paper, went to airport to welcome junhong and vanessa home... it's my first time picking up people at the airport... so many first times today.. anw got to see many other sportsmen.. so cool... saw my teacher from NY too... so proud of them!!

had been busy with huang cheng for the past 2 months... enjoyed all the afternoons that we stayed back to work... sewing stuff, having full runs, and most imptantly gossiping.. haha.. though very tired, really really had a lot of fun.. esp the few days in VT.. so fun.. everyone just working towards the performances, thinking of nothing else... a lot of waiting time, but fuzhuang had lots of fun... eat and sleep and talk and sing and teasing ye zi and braiding everyone's hair into pigtails..everyone had done a great job.. wonderful memories.. it's very contradicting.. when u're working u want it to end quickly but when it's over u wished it had been longer... PHD, post huang cheng depression.. haiz.. and this week.. tried to mug for block test.. but keep getting sick.. now having running nose and coughing.. when u're sick and having depression it's really hard to get stuff into ur brain... how?!?!!
yesterday met a very interesting person at music clinic... a very interesting teacher/performer/musician.. so gifted in music and had experienced so much flying all over the world.. exposed to such a wide variety of music... admire and envy... i want an interesting life like him.. so inspiring.. ok... but i still have to get over my block test first before i can go pursue interesting stuff.. go back and mug...

shall start blogging abt things tt happened recently... the orientation campfire was very very fun... i seemed to enjoy this one more than our campfire last year... so high!! esp the fac dances, so cool.. i think this batch of j1s are very enthu.. my class juniors seem very enthu too.. gg for all lessons conscientiously not like us... they are very fun pple and there're onli five pathetic girls among the 21 guys in their class... hope they dun get bullied..
went to watch xing qing rong ji on saturday... some of the songs are quite nice, esp the 'be with me'... the singer sings very well and she plays the keyboard very well too.. haiz... i wanna learn to play keyboard.. i've been wanting to for a very very long time.. but it's all tok and no action..
this morning, my alarm clock went dead.. i only woke up when a friend msg me.. i woke and saw my alarm clock stop at the time i set the alarm to ring.. though i set alarm on my phone too, i always switch it off unknowingly.. ok.. tonite i shall place my phone far away from my reach so that i can wake up punctually... ARH!! so scary~~~
lunar new year's coming soon... will be gg back to celebrate new year.. but actually there's no diff... anw wish everyone a very happy new year.. and always stay happy for the year ahead!!!