just went to do some astrology tests cos i'm really drained after afternoon's paper... the readings say tt i need a lot of emotional security which i agree completely... these 2 years i've been gg back more frequently and i realised i seem to have become closer to my mum... which i feel very glad abt... i feel very safe and protected when i'm with her... mabbe it's cos i've always been floating emotionally.. there's no place i can land safely.. now tt i really feel the bond building up, i feel comforted.. pple who grew up with their family wun understand this kind of feeling where u have to try consciously to build bonds... it's tiring.. like this hols when i feel the closeness it only lasted the week and i have to come back here... i'm afraid the force of attraction will weaken and the next time i see her i'll have to try to patch it up again... mabbe the feeling of closeness is making me feel too safe or just the exams are making me too stressed up, i was reluctant to come back and i feel like gg back now... i want to relive my childhood which i've missed too much... i cry too easily because the tears are overflowing inside... i dun like to but i can't stop.. nobody offers a pat because i keep pple away... tired..